As my elder one just turned 9, I realised it was time for serious introspection. I mean her actual birthday was 2 weeks back, but like every year, it was in the thick of her final exams. Following the tradition, we celebrated it on the last Sunday of March, so that everyone of her friends was free and could make it. Although I had been contemplating for quite some time about the changes I needed to make in my parenting style, her party was kind of a deadline for me and I decided to take action.

The single change that I wish to adopt is "Gentle Parenting".

I have been brought up in a typical Bengali household: single child, mother quitting her job and everything to fully devote herself to the kid's upbringing. This means that I was the biggest "project" for my mom. And of course like any control freak manager, my mom used to get pretty pushy and mad when I performed less than her expectations; which were pretty high. 

Consequently, I had always been a top achiever, be it in every field: academics, music, dance and art. As I started growing up, there was no more need of a push from her side anymore because the high I used to get from achieving and praises from others were enough of a motivation.

It was after my marriage that reality hit me. Since I was pretty naive (I was 22) and was still in medical College; I didn't know how to handle people since I hadn't worked before. Till then, I had been living in a bubble. It wasn't until I started my first job in a clinic that I actually learned how to deal with the problems life throws at you on a regular basis. My maturity started increasing after I became a mom for the first time.

What I want to convey is that being an achiever in the professional field and succeeding in life are two completely different roles. Being a child of my mom, I sometimes tend to go overboard with pushing my elder daughter into studies. I get really stressed and eventually mad during her exams, when she doesn't study according to the demand of her syllabus. This is where I need to bring the real change in my parenting style.

Having witnessed only my mom, I naturally tend to act like her and get pushy and rude. Next time my elder daughter drives me mad, I will try to remember the promise I made to myself. My elder one is not an easy child to deal with, she's extremely moody and a grumpy person. And being 9, her hormones are playing big time with her and she bursts into tears without much apparent reason. Hence being patient with her is extremely challenging. However I have decided to remember 2 mantras that I found inspirational from other mommies whom I idealise.

a. You can't pour from an empty cup. Hence I will try to fill my own cup first; that is do things that make me happy.

b. A happy mom is the secret to happy kids. Of course I have to be happy because their behaviour would be a direct reflection of mine.

So I am not going to scream at her or insult her when she doesn't behave. I will be try to firm, but in a gentle, civilised manner.

To conclude, it was a Princess Party and Mohi was dressed as Belle. The party was an enormous success and I loved planning every bit of it. Both my kids' parties done, I can rest for the next 9 months 😂

I was today years old when I actually learned about the relevance of the number 12. I mean do you know already? If not, scroll down to read!

Coming back to the main topic, I find being an Indian pretty confusing. We are so still under the colonial hangover yet trying to back to our roots too. We love to converse in English yet our English is never taken seriously outside India. We officially follow the Gregorian calendar but never fail to follow Saka Era or schedule auspicious ocassions according the various calendars being followed.

So I was really taken aback when my parents expressed their wish to celebrate our 12 th wedding anniversary with great pomp and show. I knew about a decade. Well that was in 2021, when the pandemic was its peak. What happened to 12 years? According to them, 12 years meant a "yug" and that's what they wanted to cherish with their loved ones. My parents hadn't thrown a big party since years and they needed an excuse for a get together. I, having no other choice, supported them in whatever way I could...like talking to the party planner, designing invites et al.

However yesterday I sat down thinking about the importance of the number 12. I mean I know 11 is considered holy and so are odd '1' numbers like 1001, 21, 101, etc etc. Upon researching, I found out that The symbolic significance of the number twelve is probably that of the restoration of dharma or the expiation of guilt. Purna Kumbha is celebrated every 12 years, Mantras, Japas and Pranayama are done in multiples of 12, it takes 12 years to break a habit or form a practice etc etc. Also, according to Hindu mythology, 12 years of earth days is equal to one day of Lord Brahma. How fascinating!

The number 108, which is considered one of the most sacred numbers in Hinduism; is a multiple of 12. And according to numerology, the number 12 is a reminder to work on your personal relationships and strive to be the best you can be. Focusing on positive things will help you to have the best time in your life. The number 12 is also associated with the angelic realm, so it may be a sign that you're receiving guidance from the angels.

Last, but not the least, the number 12 is strongly associated with the heavens—the 12 months, the 12 signs of the zodiac, and the 12 stations of the Moon and of the Sun. 

Coming to the celebrations, the menu was even more elaborate than our wedding. 12 years back, there weren't prawns on the menu (only various variants of chicken, mutton and fish) . So this time around, there was this famous Bengali delicacy : Tiger prawns in coconut curry along with the hot dishes of mutton and chicken that Bengalis relish. Also there was Baked Bhetki too, which was a crowd heart winner. Of course that goes without saying that there was a pure vegetarian menu too as my in laws side don't even like to smell eggs. That may be a tiny example how complicated my life is 😂

The celebration was exactly how my parents wanted it to be. Now I have a bit of a rant here. So how important are gifts for parties? I mean of course I will never turn up anywhere empty handed. I love gifting and I put a lot of efforts and thoughts into it. However over the years I have realised that some people treat it more like a chore. Actually I am sure that hosts never expect gifts. The presence of the guests is more valuable. Then why do some people think they can get rid of their home's clutter by dumping off at a party? I am sure you can relate what I am trying to say here. Some people don't even care to check whether the stuff that had been lying around is in a givable condition or not. Sometimes I really feel like putting up a small post script on the invite that kindly don't bring gifts. I have enough stuff to deal with already (influencer life problems) but that really does not seem polite so I don't. However I do wish that people realize that a party isn't the place to get rid of someone's clutter.

That being said, I am incredibly grateful for all the thoughtful gifts I receive from my loved ones. Gifts are symbolic of blessings and hold special memories; so I really value them and hence my thoughts on those who treat them with disrespect.

Anyways, enough for now. These 12 years have been the biggest lessons ever of my life!

This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla in collaboration with Mads' Cookhouse.

For my new readers, this is to inform you that we took a road trip across five countries of Eastern/ Central Europe for our babymoon. Germany was our last stop and we explored the Bavarian region quite extensively. I was five months pregnant during that time.

Believe me, I wish I had known about this (the title duh!😀). Getting married in a Bavarian Baroque palace would be so surreal, right? Provided you have the money for the same! Well, for starters, there are innumerable palaces and castles in India that can provide a magnificent venue for lavish weddings. However I feel that it's very challenging to narrow down the guest list if it's being done in India. Sentiments would be hurt, relations would get severed. However, if you announce your venue in Europe, even close relatives would back off thinking of the expenses or would be expecting you to sponsor the arrangements.

Whatever you decide to do, a wedding is just a stepping stone to a new life. The marriage on the other hand is a marathon. It really doesn't matter whether you are exchanging Var Malas in a Baroque palace or in a district court. Only your partner should be perfect for you. Right?

Anyways, when we travelled to Munich, Germany, one of the must visit places is the Nymphenberg Palace. It served as the summer residence of the rulers of Bavaria and is even wider than the Versailles Palace. Although it's a classic example of Baroque style, it's even a more apt specimen of 'Rococo' type of architecture. Well to be honest, I was not even acquainted with this particular term. I am more or less literate about Gothic, Baroque, Renaissance, Victorian, Art Deco , etc etc types of architecture. It was a few days back that I was reading about real estate (you know that I am obsessed with decor et al) , I stumbled across terms like Brutalist, Rococo, Neo futurism etc. Upon some deep digging, I learned that cities like Prague, Paris and regions like Bavaria are richly embelished with Rococo designs or late Baroque architecture. 

So basically this palace is a classic illustration of Rococo architecture. The details are overtly intricate ; I mean the first thought when I looked up the ceiling of the railway station of Prague; my reaction was ' How the hell one is supposed to clean such crevices?' And this thought baffled me during our entire stay in Prague; all the buildings, all the corners had innumerable curves and twists. I just kept on murmuring that this kind of design wouldn't survive even for a single day in Noida; given the overtly dust load in our area!

Anyways, enough spoken on the architecture, let's get to the palace. Basically all the palaces in this region: Austria, Bavaria, Bohemia etc are just VAST. They are adorned with an equally expansive perfectly manicured gardens in the front and back; complete with fountains and probably a lake too.

The Nymphenberg Palace is no different. It does not only have a lake, but it's equipped with gondolas for tourists to take a ride. There are swans on the lake; making it picturesque. We had visited during autumn and hence there were dry, brown leaves everywhere. It was surreal! The artificial lake finally joins the Danube river.

What was the most interesting and unexpected part was that we got to witness an exhibition cum sale. The head sculptures of King Ludwig II were for sale and there were 100 of them. My My! Who would buy it anyways?

The palace provides innumerable photo options; whether you are getting married or not :D We spotted a number of pre wedding shoots taking place.

Exploring such boundless palaces can be exhausting; especially when you are 5 months pregnant. At the end of the day, all I wanted was to retire to our BnB and eat, eat and eat! Why Munich has to be so expensive? Anyone else here who don't fill their tummies fully because the food is atrociously pricey? 😂

This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla in collaboration with Mads' Cookhouse.