Disclaimer: Those who are madly in love or see life through rose tinted glasses, please refrain from reading this post.
Is love really in the air? Or is it just a marketing gimmick? I mean is love really decking up the surroundings in shades of pink and red, getting the prettiest flowers and candies and riding high on impressing or out doing your significant other in pampering? Well I am not sure. Social media and mainstream marketing has set up such unrealistic expectations from this day (Valentine's Day if you haven't got it yet) ; that you start self doubting whether your relationship is real, if you don't adhere to the traditional norms that have been laid by the marketing police.
Now the big question is, am I even eligible to comment on this stuff? Well, yes I believe. We just completed 13 years of marriage last week and it was a love marriage according to society. Although I don't categorise our marriage as "love marriage" because there was hardly any dating period. We got engaged after 2 months of meeting each other and he had proposed me for marriage on our 2 nd date. I was in my final year of medical College and couldn't resist having an orthopaedic surgeon as my husband (nerdy goals). But love marriage for sure as we chose each other , not exactly to our parents ' wishes and of course an intercommunity marriage (with 180 degrees opposite customs). We have gone through numerous ups and downs and continue to do so, so maybe my two cents on Vday celebration might take away the pressure from numerous young couples.
1. We shouldn't place too much expectations and hope on Valentine's Day.
Okay I get it. I used to be that overtly demanding girl back in college where going out on a date meant expensive gifts, flowers and a meal at a fancy restaurant. However, love or most importantly commitment is immaterial. My husband doesn't believe in gifting (partly because he's a miser 🤣) but mostly because he feels that he's commitment to our family is his biggest gift. The long hours he puts in the hospital is for our secure future and there shouldn't be any stupid material expectations like flowers and chocolates. Save up for travel experiences!
So while it's lovely to have a bouquet of overpriced red roses on Vday, if your significant other doesn't do that, it doesn't disqualify him from being a good partner.
2. Real life is not at all what social media portrays.
Being a writer and a content creator for 11 years now, I can safely say that we can go to any damn extent to make everything looks pretty. Be it a written anecdote or a picture perfect family photoshoot, everything and anything can be a lie. So don't ever feel FOMO. You really don't know the real story behind a couple's romantic picture or a reel. Maybe it was for the brand? Maybe the creator wants to paint only a pretty picture on her feed and refrains from posting anything negative? Who knows?
Sania Mirza and Shoaib Malik still haven't openly declared their separation. They have so many couple contracts together worth billions that they simply can't be honest to themselves; leave alone the rest of the world. The celeb influencers are nothing less than them. Aakriti Rana could declare her divorce five years after her separation, just because of various contracts. So while we were swooning over their picture perfect portraits, they were not even sharing the same roof! More recently, look at Kusha Kapila and her ex.
3. Emotional intimacy is way more important than physical intimacy.
I read this on Chriselle Lim's post, when she she was interviewing Jessi Malay. It really set me pondering. JM said that it's way more difficult to be emotionally naked than stripping your clothes in front of your partner. JM seemed and still seems to be very emotionally secure (who knows btw) but Chriselle was going through a divorce (which became obvious to the world years after that interview).
Are you really comfortable in letting your guard down in front of your partner? Have you ever been completely vulnerable? Have you ever expressed your deepest insecurities to your significant other? Well if your answer is yes, then you have a real relationship, even if the heat has subsided between the sheets.
I recently read somewhere that really made a lasting impression on me. " You look for someone with whom you want to grow old. However you should look for that person with whom you can forever remain a child".
That's enough cynicism for this season. Let me know your thoughts below. Please be honest!
This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla in collaboration with Bohemian Bibliophile.
