Lessons learned from 2021

by - 1/23/2022

I can't even fathom that the first post of 2022 is coming after 22 days the year started! Well that can be attributed to the mom duties, pandemic burden (no school, no house help and loads of stress) , work being shifted to Instagram more, etc etc. But honestly speaking, I am the one to be blamed. Because this blog is my first baby and I should be able to nurture it regularly, no matter whatever the circumstances are. Anyways  let's cut to the chase. 2021 was the most challenging year of my entire life (so far) and I had learned a number of lessons on the way. I thought of sharing them with you all because I love reading (and learning) life lessons of others. Secondly,it may benefit you in motivating and uplifting yourself from time to time because, life isn't really fair all time. I have broken up the year monthwise for easy reading and a practical approach.

1. January: Worst breakdown of my life. The year started bad with the negative vibes of 2020 but the worst breakdown of my life happened on the 13th. The previous day ie on 12 th we had taken our little one for vaccination which had already  been delayed by an entire year as we were too scared to take the kids out. My younger one wasn't born underweight, unlike her elder sister but when she was measured, I learned that she hadn't gained a single gram in the entire year of 2020. I almost froze. I didn't sleep that night burdened with mom guilt that I was so overwhelmed and overburdened with the household duties that I neglected my own baby! Ideally each kid should get attention for full time but there I was, handling two kids all by myself, (because the pandemic didn't allow the maternal grandparents to be involved), cooking, washing, cleaning and feeding a household of six without any help. And of course my job whenever I could. The next day there was a terrible family crisis which was projected on me and I couldn't take it anymore. Firstly the family for whom I had destroyed one year of growth of my little one and then not getting any love back (forget gratitude), I just broke. For the first time in my life I called up a psychiatrist I found on 1 mg.com and talked to him. I didn't take any of his prescribed medicines but he was a good listening ear to me. I vented out and he gave me the diagnosis of a prolonged post partum depression (which I had in 2014, after the birth of my first child).  Also he said that 'Depression is the decreased ability to deal with stress'. I felt those words to be laden with meaning and anytime I feel hopeless, I remember these words. The situation may not be as bad, it's me who's processing them worse. 

I never consulted him again but that  one hour
  really gave me one valuable lesson. I slowly started making my skin even thicker and started giving more effort in taking care of my kids. I also organised my little one's second birthday despite all the unfavorable circumstances because I didn't want my daughters to suffer (the elder one being more excited). 

Lesson learned: When you hit rock bottom, the only direction you can go is up. 

February: 10 years of marriage. Life is not as rosy as it looks on social media but whose does in reality? It was our dream to go to Brazil for our 10th anniversary since ages but of course the pandemic didn't leave any scope to go anywhere. We chose for a staycation in Le Meriden  Gurgaon and it was good two days with the four of us, an attempt to salvage our relationship. Then again back to cleaning and cooking and nurturing. There were meltdowns but I was more involved with the studies of my elder daughter as her final exams were approaching. 

Lesson learned: The only way to have a happy present is to let of the unpleasant past. 

March: First social gathering at home after one year on Mohi's birthday. 

We hadn't socialised since March 2020 (neither invited anyone nor went anywhere) so this was a Red letter day. Our loved ones came to bless seven years old Mohi, we danced, ate and made merry. The month was very eventful, I got my first Covishield shot and worked for a lot of campaigns. 

Lesson learned: God gives happiness when you expect the least. 

April: MIL diagnosed with Covid. 

Now this was earth shattering for the entire family. We had been taking care of the in laws like babies for the past one year and the moment they left our home, MIL got infected. The sleepless nights me and my husband spent are uncountable. Those were really some of the most difficult 14 days for the entire family, physically, mentally and emotionally. 

Lesson learned: Just when you think everything is normal, things can go haywire. Hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. 

May: Shifting to my parents' place. 

After MIL was infected, we all shifted to my parents' place. The first two weeks seemed like a vacation, but slowly I started feeling suffocated. After a certain age, you really need your own space. 

Lessons learned: Always keep every door of your life open. 

June: My birthday. This day brings out the saddest memories (maybe because I always have high expectations?). So this year (which was already so bad) I had none. It was pretty low key with a cute cake gifted by the husband. 

July: Mid year meltdown

I had one of the worst fallout with my mother in my life. I remember having hard times during teenage but this was really grown up and devastating. I had completed 3 months of residing there and was already going through a lot in my personal life. I needed a shoulder to cry on, someone to vent and to be taken care of. My parents love and take care of my children blindly. I don't want to sound ungrateful but I also need their care, especially at such a sensitive juncture of my life. I needed help, needed to talk to a therapist but my mom said that a therapist couldn't be better than talking to her. She meant that her impulsive reactions and yelling would have done better for me. I just couldn't justify myself. I was certified as the most ungrateful person. I wanted to flee but had nowhere to go. 

Lesson learned: Never say never. I had vowed not to do so many things but ended up doing those anyway. 

August: First trip of the year. 
After Rakshabandhan celebration at my sister in law's place in Rishikesh, we went for a short trip uphill in Shivpuri, Rishikesh, again a desperate attempt to mend things. The stay was great but the end was rather deathly scary. 

We got stranded on the way downhill because of multiple landslides. Thr heavy rains had caused too many accidents, and we were fortunate enough to have come out alive. Rocks had literally been rolling right in front and in the back of our car and we just managed to come out alive, unharmed. 

Lesson learned: Always believe in the power of prayers. 

September: I literally took break from work to focus solely on my daughter's studies. 

Lesson learned:  A little break is good for the soul. 

October: Trip to Gujarat
I can't lead the life of a travel blogger. I mean I am the primary caregiver of my family and just can't pack my suitcase and leave at the drop of a hat. That's why I hardly ever take up the offers of property reviews. 

So when I got a call to visit Gujarat for a very short trip, I was confused. I called up my mom whether she could take care of my kids and she fully encouraged me to take up the offer. I really deserved a break, after what all I had been through and that trip was physically exhausting but truly mind blowing. 

Lesson learned: Never lose hope. Something good is always around the corner. 

November: Started partying after 2 years

Gradually, I started letting go of the bitter past and began healing myself. Covid cases were on the decline and I decided to RSVP to the innumerable party invites I get on a regular basis. Me and my husband decided to go on 'date nights' every Friday. We partied multiple times and also went to Maninder Buttar's concert, which was a smash hit. 

Lesson learned: You attract what you feel. So always think of the best. 

December: Trip to Goa

I had been to Goa multiple times in the past and this place doesn't disappoint. It was the husband's decision to spend the Christmas and New Year at Goa with our elder daughter and even booked everything. He felt taking the little one would be too much to handle and hence she had to stay back with my parents. 
I would have never had the courage to go on a trip owing to the Covid situation. I am grateful to him for a really adventurous trip. 

Lesson learned: Sometimes letting go of the control turns out to be even better. 

So here ends my rant. I hardly had written something so long in the past few years. Anyways hopefully my post is able to bring some hope and positivity in your lives. Always remember, something good is definitely going to happen. Happiness is all about perspective. 

How was your 2021? Let me know! 

How was your 2021?

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  1. Loved the way you have written with morals. Every moral is so true. Well if you asked me, here in our township, it was all locked. We were not allowed to go anywhere. We celebrated our birthdays, anniversary at home, meals cooked by me. The year 2021 was mixed emotions. I am glad that you travelled and enjoyed it.

  2. Your year had been a mixed bag of good and bad experiences but now that's what we xall life right. At the end of it all, everything is good. Hope you have a great 2022.

  3. What a poignant post. Thank you for making us part of our life. So much to learn!

  4. Well for me Mandira failures are the way to realize your shortcomings and work towards getting better on it. I know you from long and I know you have got all the grit to come up despite things and event that might try to pull you down. Keep at it. Don't worry keep working towards family and self goals

  5. 2021 was the year where a lot of things were unexpected. It was a year which as a family we looked forward to however, the first half turned out to be just the opposite as we had thought.