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DocDivaTraveller

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Please keep scrolling to see the pictures, if kids are not your forte or you have nothing to do with parenting. I am positive that you will enjoy the captures! Who does not love a cute home organised theme party and cute kids anyways *wink *wink

No one said it was easy being a mom; leave being a mom of two. Being a mom for the second time is easier emotionally (because you know the drill duh!) but physically far more taxing.



And when you don't have any previous examples to look upto, you are clueless! Because when you are a single child, neither you have dealt with siblings nor seen your parents bring up two kids. So I am basically learning every single day, how to juggle all and sharing my two cents on this. I know we all mommies are doing our best, but there is always scope for betterment right? So here are my four goals to be a better mom to my little one, on her fourth birthday.



1. Be more intentional with my time spent with her. When you have an elder one who needs constant guidance in her studies, the needs of the younger one gets a backseat. I feel all the time that my little one is neglected; partly because I am so overwhelmed with the elder one, household and my own work and partly because I have lesser energy. I mean when I had my first born, I was just 25 and bursting with vivacity! With time all the chores went shooting through the roof and I am forever struggling to balance everything.

So I want to be fully present, mindful and intentional with whatsover time I get to spend with her. No phone, no cooking, no yelling at her Didi for homework and no distractions. It should be wholly her time .



2. Be consistent with daily habits and rituals. This may not sound very significant but believe me, with two kids and work and household, even the most mundane of things seem challenging. There have been times (during the pandemic) that I used to be so deep into depression that brushing the tiny teeth of my little one used to seem like a painful chore.

So if we (me and my daughters) pray in the evening (something I have been trying to instill in the kids), it has to be everyday. Maintaining consistency becomes tough when routines change but I want to teach them that praying is non negotiable.



If I have a dance party every night during dinner, it better be every damn night. I have found this to be a fantastic alternative to keep my girls away from screens. They may not be learning table manners but at least they aren't consuming mindless cartoons too. This thing becomes tough during exams when I multi task teaching and feeding. 



3. Be mindful of daily supplements and check ups. When the household has two medicos, the health of the near and dear ones goes for a toss. It may sound paradoxical, but it's the reality. Our kids are running far behind vaccination schedules (because a. Pandemic b. Time crunch). My mom keeps nagging me all the time that if our kids did not have doctor parents, they would have been better taken care of.

She has dental cavities from sheer negligence and although we haven't taken her to a dentist yet ; I want to at least brush her teeth with a Fluoride toothpaste daily to rectify the situation.

I at least want to administer calcium and vitamin D daily to my little one (because she's so lagging on growth). The only victim of the mammoth burden of those two years of the pandemic has been bore exclusively by my little one, who's lagging far behind in height and weight. While she would never get back those couple of years, I at least should try to cover as much as possible now.



4. Give my best, every single day. When you are the mom of a picky eater who happens to be grossly underweight, the pressure is real. Everyone seems to point towards the mom that she is not feeding her child enough.

While I counsel my patients that being active is the main hallmark of a child's health; the weight of a child should not be below the normal range too. I just dread her meal times. She really does not eat much and running after her with every single morsel is such a Herculean task. Sometimes I am so exhauseted (especially during dinner time) that I don;t run after her and she just has a quarter of a paratha for dinner. I am usually drowning with guilt when I lie down to sleep on those days.

I don't want that to happen. I want to give my best to my kids (especially to my younger one) every single time, every day. I want God to flood me with the energy needed to do so. Because I believe that if I keep on giving her nutritious diet everyday, maybe someday she will catch up on her growth.

Enough rambling of this guilt stricken, exhausted mom. Now for the party.



Like any four year old, Mishi is obsessed with Peppa Pig and hence the theme of this party! She does not have any friend of her own (except for our neighbours) so I invited only a few family members. I persuaded all my husband's cousins ; whosever are residing in Delhi NCR to come join the celebration. We all met under one roof after ages and it was one hell of a family reunion.



The theme was pink and red (Peppa duh!) and we had a sleepover as we danced till wee hours of that cold January night. I cooked for the party (like every birthday) and it was a big hit with the guests. 

Forever grateful for everything. Hopefully I can stick to my goals for the betterment of my little one.

This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla in collaboration with Mads' Cookhouse.

2/28/2023 23 comments

 

Top post on BlogchatterEven if you are not into interiors or decor or even are a nomad, you should still read this post! Because fellas, home is something we all end up coming back to; no matter the stage of life!

PS These pictures had been taken during Christmas time; hence the big Xmas tree. Our living room looks like this now.



Also, the home is a forever, dynamic project. The improvements never really cease. So we should be try to be content with the present.




I have been into home decoration as long as I remember. I guess I was eight years old when I started cutting out pictures of beautiful homes from magazines and newspapers. Decorating my room or other rooms of our home had always been a passion project of mine. We have moved a considerable number of times during my childhood; and thrice after I actually started understanding the concept of decoration.

When I was a teenager, there would be a lot of conflict of interests between me and my mom over decor stuff. I used to be attracted to tiny trinkets and vignettes because let's face it, I was not concerned with their upkeep! Dusting and maintenance did not exist in my dictionary! Now as I have grown up (and totally a home decor enthusiast, I know the challenges of maintaining small baubles. Now I don't even buy small souvenirs from abroad. It's either a significant piece (read a big Turkish lamp from Istanbul, huge masks from Bali, Sri lanka, Venice, wooden chest from Mauritius etc) for which we end up paying extra on the plane or just settle with photographs and magnets. I have become a minimalist (not in terms of the number of stuff but in terms of decor items) just for the ease of the upkeep of our abode.

Long story short, it's been a long journey and I finally got my very own place style in 2017, when we bought our present home. I was not even thirty and totally naive in terms of being a home owner or having a significant style.  The home was fully functional but the fittings were dated. The wooden fixtures were not of my taste but tearing down  those fully functional cabinets and closets would have been an utter cause of wastage and expenditure. Neither we had the money to do so.

I am a full blown advocate of sustainability. 

However after 6 years of living which included 2 full years of sheltering in of 6 individuals; sans any maintenance; rendered this place of some serious repair. So I though why not combine some renovation works along with the repairs and fulfil my long lost dream of renovating the house? However little I knew what mammoth challenges I would have to face during this process.

So here I am, sharing my two words of wisdom; learned the hard way.

1. Shift to another place if it's possible financially and logistically.

Sitting amidst the chaos and dirt and debris with the workers constantly coming to you for consent and other stuff is truly painstaking. You are simply paralysed during that period; you can neither nap nor shower, forget working from home. 

While shifting to a cleaner home seems tempting, It's a humungous task to empty the entire home, settle somewhere else and then again pack up and come back. Also, you have to constantly supervise (if you are a control freak like me) so that too has to be considered. And the additional expenses are impossible for most of us. 

So we chose to stay back, husband and kids returning in the evening and me braving each day, everyday, for 6 months.

2. Be prepared for collateral damage. 

No one told me how much fully functioning stuff (some my favourites even) would get damaged during this process. This happens partly because the workers are careless and partly because it's unavoidable. For example, while changing the door frames of the bathrooms, all the tiles broke. Although it caused so much extra expenditure (new tiles+labour), it could not have been avoided.

However breaking of decorative materials while moving furniture, breaking of furniture legs, scratches in existing stuff; these all are avoidable but inevitable given the careless nature of workers. We have a couple of broken mirrors, scratched surfaces of cupboards and chipped tiles.

I am the saddest about my dying green babies, for which the painters are responsible.

3. Try to avoid demolition of existing framework.

Our flat had been constructed 20 years ago. That means it's quite dated and old fashioned. Many people in our society have been tearing down the walls and making new eruptions; rendering weakening of the building. I highly condemn such actions. I totally believe in making new things out of the old; not in getting rid of the old. If every one begins to demolish the pillars and reconstruct, one day the entire building would come crashing down.

4. Always add more time to the expected period.

When we started, we were told that it would get over in two months. That got stretched; partly because of the nature of the project, partly because of the weather and partly because of personal reasons. In all, it took full six months to get the house completely done. And I am not including the time after that ; which I spent reorganizing and tidying up.

5. Be very clear about your intentions.

You must have a clear picture in your mind as to what you want. Prepare mood boards. If you can't, hire help. It will save you tonnes of time and money in the long run.

I am a pretty determined person when it comes to choices. I had a very clear picture of what I wanted. I was dreaming of a coastal theme/ resort like look for our home.

White and green is my favourite combo ever. So I got the living room walls painted in a shade of moody, spinach green. However, the colour looked too bright for my choice. Paints can be really pricey and not to forget the manpower charges. After 3 whole days when the room was finally done, I realized that green was simply not working.

We got the newly painted room repainted in a shade of dark blue (Blue Dome of Santorini shade) which I had always loved; but did not go forward with.

6. It's never too late to make changes.

Changing the decided course of plan may add on some really bad expenses; but it's priceless in the long run. Example 1: Repainting the living room walls cost a tonne of extra time and money, but the satisfaction is priceless. Similarly, the look of the doors which I had chosen earlier looked good in the catalogue but looked too plain in real life. The raw materials had already been purchased for all the doors and four doors were completed in that plain look.



I was in big dilemma but finally mastered the courage to ask the contractor to change the look for the next set of doors. I am so glad that I did! It definitely cost us extra but the happiness I get from looking at the 'not so plain ones' are so worth! Not to forget, people who have come to our house have always raved how beautiful the doors look; even my mom; who never ever compliments and is really hard to please!

To conclude, the past 6 months have been intensely grueling for me and my family; both physically and mentally but this is truly a labour of love.

If if you have waiting to take the plunge, go for it! The end result is absolutely divine!


This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla in collaboration with Mads' Cookhouse.

2/09/2023 28 comments
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