This blog started as a journal to document our travels and personal stories and milestones. Well that was way before even my first daughter was born. So practically, my blog is my first born! Life got overloaded with other priorities and I started writing less. My articles started catering more to what might be helpful to you all; my loyal readers, than what might be a personal documentation. But 10 years of marriage is a huge milestone...Don't you feel? Well I do! So my emotional judgement caught better of me and I decided to write something that would help lot of couples who are contemplating to take the plunge or are going through a difficult phase in their relationships. If you are here only for 'unreal, rosy' anecdotes, then this is not for you because let's get real guys. Life is a mammoth more than what we seen on Instagram or magazines. For those who are new here, I got married to my husband when I was still in college. I said yes to his proposal on our second date (2 weeks of meeting), got engaged within 2 months and then married within 9 months of our first meet! Life is a whirlwind 😁

This article is from my point of view (wife's perspective). I am unsure what my husband has learnt as he is not that articulate in this chapter and he's definitely not going to know what I have learnt because he does not read my blog :D

1. Everyone's love language is different.

We grow up reading all those mushy books and watching Rom coms where the guy always opens the door of the car, brings flowers, gives foot massage, etc etc. However the reality is far from it. Every guy has a different way of expressing his love and my husband is no different. It took me 10 years to understand this. For him loving me isn't getting me roses or helping with household chores or patiently listening to me; he never does these *sigh*  But he loves shooting me on his camera, planning trips for us, getting bagfuls of exotic groceries so that I can whip up something fancy in my kitchen! I know...so different yet this is his way of showing love.

2. Acceptance is the key to peace.

Most of the 'feminists' would bash me for this but believe me, rebelling would not get anywhere; it would only rob you off your peace of mind.  I used to be an obsessively cleanliness freak which led to too much stress in our household. We are polar opposites when it comes to aesthetics and cleanliness. Gradually I learnt not to nag him and do everything myself because that's the most peaceful thing to do. And he has accepted my autonomy in the decor department and cleaning is completely my forte.

3. Don't ever get verbally abusive

Altercations can take an ugly turn but I have never ever used abusive language in our 10 years of marriage and would suggest the same to everyone else. Please treat him with respect; all the time. 

4. Be honest with each other all the time; but do not share secrets about people who are not related to him. 

Honesty is the best and a non negotiable policy when it comes to each other. But we (girls) should always refrain from sharing our girlfriend's secrets or maternal familial intimate issues that does not concern him because there should always be this line. 

5. Adorn your home with beautiful memories

Marriage is full of ups and downs but that's how life is right? You should not get those lows bury you when you are going through a rough patch. I have decorated our walls with stunning travel photographs from our globe trotting adventures and they serve as a daily reminder of the endless priceless memories. Daily reminders are very important. It can be pictures, souvenirs, knick knacks (eg menu from your favourite restaurant), anything that strikes a chord with you and your family.

6. If it does not matter in 5 years, it does not deserve more than 5 minutes of introspection.

The wet towel is on the bed; I know gross. He has forgotten your birthday, insensitive. He does not help you with your household chores; so misogynistic right? These all are fuel for ugly fights but deep down, they are really not going to matter in the future. What matters more is securing a sound financial future, loyality and care for each other. These should be non negotiable.

7. Don't drag the family in  your marriage

I can sense the contradiction even while I am typing this because it's so obvious in Indian households. I know tens of couples who have broken up because of family interference. In India, the girl gets married to the entire family and is supposed to take care of everyone; which again gives rise to innumerable feuds.

Don't spoil your relationship with your spouse because of his family. Compartmentalise. Turn a blind eye and deaf ear. If you are in charge of taking care of all (I know, it's very taxing) try and coax your husband to pamper you, listen to you in return. Vent out in journals; but don't poison your marriage because of his family.

8. Celebrate small things.

Most people tend to associate celebrations with squandering but it's so not true. Celebration can be done inside your home most of the times. Order something delicious or cook a fancy meal, elevate your decor, get some of your favourite drinks and turn on the music. Set some rituals of your own. Start new traditions.

9. Say I Love You often

These are magical words which melt me even when I am at the peak of my rage. I have learnt to say these three words without any reason; because there should not be any; to blurt them out. I say them to my husband and my girls; multiple times a day. Believe me, it makes ME happier too.

10. The harshest but an honestly bitter truth is that if you love yourself way too much, DON'T EVER GET MARRIED. Because my dear unmarried fellas and fellows, marriage is ALL ABOUT GIVING AND COMPROMISE and one is really not left with much time/energy with loving your own self.

There are myriads of other things that I have learnt but I thought of sharing these ones with young couples or couples who are going through a rough patch. Marriage is never easy. The last year has particularly been a Herculean task for all the families out there. But in the end, marriage is EVERYTHING. 

So for our 10 th anniversary, we took a small staycation in a five star property in Gurgaon and my husband gifted me the diamond ring of my dreams to immortalize this decade(and erase all the unsweet events 💁☺👭). I am not talking about materialism here. But these are priceless memories which I will cherish forever. I even plan to print some family pictures from this getaway so that I can look back and smile whenever I feel low.

Forever grateful for this tiny world of ours.

Title: Finding your way: How to navigate yourself back from Depression, Personal crisis & Life's mistakes

Author: Drake Taylor

Genre: Self Help, Motivation

Pages: 156,quick read

God help those who help themselves. I have found this to be true always and when I am feeling really low, this sentence is my motivation to move ahead. I was going through the most difficult phase of my life when my friend Vandana sent me this book on the mail. It's strange that she had no idea what I was going through and magically a much needed, easy read book landed up to be read when I needed it the most. It definitely has put me in a better headspace and therefore you would find it useful too.

This book has been penned down  by the author when he was going through the darkest phases of his life. He was almost on the verge of ending his life; therefore he can easily relate to what people in tough phases are going through. He has talked in the book like a friend and mentor would. It's imperative that you follow the exercises that he has mentioned in every chapter.

My best takeaways from this book:

 Everything you want out of life, lies with that first step of getting out of bed each day. Each day you stay in bed, you slowly killing your dreams or put them further out of your reach.

Our mindset determines how each and every one of us live our life.

Forgiveness isn't merely to allow the other person to move on from wrongdoing. It is to allow you freedom from hanging on to negative emotions, so you can live your best life.

Holding onto hate is like holding onto a hot coal; the only person you burn is you.

What I loved all the more in this book: Appendices.

The appendices can be considered a solution in a nutshell. There are 7; (from A to G) and constitute 

A: Self Reflection Questions: The first chapter motivates us to answer these questions honestly; because there is no way out in lying. After answering these honestly then only it would be beneficial to move forward in reading because it would become clearer on which aspects do we need to work on ourselves.

B: Importance of reading and Suggested Reading List: It's undeniable that we need to read to motivate and keep pushing ourselves.

C: Workout routine: I can't stress the fact enough that exercise is the world's most underrated anti depressant. Working out or even moving the body releases endorphins into our blood stream; which makes us feel good. I constantly motivate my patients to workout daily but when it comes to myself, I am unable tp practice it because of lack of time, energy and privacy. I so want to change this.

D: Dietary Suggestion: Some healthy meal plans

E: Road Map. This is so very important. You got to have your life planned out. Make a list of your goals wrt Money, Home, Lifestyle changes, personal relationships, Fitness, education, job, career, travel, parents, children, passion and the list goes on.

You can jot them down under the following headers:

Name of goal

Current status of goal

Course correction or New Projected Goal

Steps to get there

Milestones and Deadlines

eg Task 1    Accomplish by

F: Planning Calender :.It's so important to have a schedule. Your goals have to SMART:  Smart: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time Bound.

Everything should follow a pattern and calender would remind you.

G: Inspirational quotes when you need strength. Reading these quotes time and again definitely clears and freshens my mind.

I definitely suggest reading this book; even if you are in a content state of mind because there are so many more things to learn.

• Stay away from too much sugar, oily and fried food.
• Take fibre rich food, probiotic food and lots of water.
• Exercise daily

Travelling is soothing for the soul but taxing for the body, especially your skin. The changed environment, different microbial flora (changes every place) , dry air of airplanes (especially if you are on a long flight), general adventure nature of the trip and so many other factors have an adverse effect on our skin in one way or the other. However if we are careful and take care of our skin diligently, we are able to indulge in our trip without having to worry about breakouts and all! Hence following a healthy skincare routine (Ayurvedic face wash, SPF, adequate moisturising etc) is a mandate. So here I am presenting a cheat sheet which would make our skin not only fuss free but healthier too! 

1. Don't forget to wash your face! 

We often are too tired at the end of the day (especially after a long day of exploration) to wash our face and go to sleep without washing our face. This leads to accumulation of dirt and dust and grime on our face ; which our skin readily absorbs during sleeping. Not to forget the caking up of make up that we slather on before any excursion. It's not called 'Beauty Sleep' without any reason. Our skin heals during those hours and it is our duty to nourish it as much as possible.

Similarly when we take a shower in the morning, it is important to incorporate a face wash before we step out of the hot shower. A clear face glows more beautifully and also takes up make up more efficiently. 

2. Hydrate. I can't stress on this point enough. Our skin needs water to drink more than we do (yes we consume in various other forms like drinks, fruits, etc) while our skin gets water from the glasses we chug down. 

3. Cut down on alcohol and caffeinated drinks. We all love to indulge on a trip but we want perfect pictures for our albums too. So restrict your alcohol intake to one drink per day or just avoid it completely. Don't drink too much caffeine, it can lead to breakout.

4. Don't forget your greens on a trip. We all love to experience local cuisine but we should reserve one meal for healthy food. The easiest way to do this is to have a big plate of salad and a fruit at one time of the day.

5. Don't forget sun protection. Irrespective of the weather, you have to slather on SPF on all your exposed body parts and reapply it every four hours. Also carry a wide brim hat, sunglasses and scarf with you when you are visiting a sunny destination.

6. Don't forget your supplements! Correct nutrition may be unachievable during a trip (who's complaining anyway). So if you pop a vitamin everyday, you don't have to worry about your skin or hair!

After exploring 23 countries of different terrains so far, these are the tips that I have collected and happily pass them on to my readers and patients.  Do let me know if you want to add more!

The last couple of 2020 are here and it's time to put those weird memories behind. The worst thing to suffer in 2020 (apart  from our mental  and physical health and finances) has been travel. And we simply can't wait to hit the roads again! I don't know about you but I haven't stepped out of my home in the past  10 months. I shut my clinic and have been giving my patients online consultation. No outings ,no events; only blogging and shooting at home. Although normal travel is yet to resume, we have to modify our habits accordingly. It's going to be more roadtrips and isolated stays. If you want to go abroad, then opt for lesser affected nations like Indonesia, Thailand, Maldives, etc. And yes, I would prefer Air B n Bs with 5 star cleanliness rating over commercials budget hotels.

According to me, a pool villa is the perfect way to unwind. Even if you are not a water baby, then too you can just relax on the loungers by the water. The pool villa we booked in Bali has been my favourite so far; both in terms of aesthetics and money. So here I am sharing a few tips what we kept in mind while doing so; I am sure we all are looking forward to a pool break soon!

 So how to select the perfect pool villa on a budget?

There are many websites that offer homestays, but personally we have always booked on Air B n B. Make sure you use the filters properly. You can set the budget and amenities accordingly.

When you have a handful of properties to select for, start browsing the pictures. The ones with less number of images are rejected by me because I feel that they are not pretty enough.

Amenities definitely matter but some of them have to be compulsory. Like for us it has to be free Wifi, a kitchen (husband is a vegetarian; I cook for him), clean bathroom and of course a beautifully landscaped pool. Things like breakfast (complimentary or paid ) are secondary for us as I cook anyway.

Make sure you carry a variety of pool wear with accessories like hats and sunnies. If you can, carry some fancy tumblers too where you can pour your drink. I know memories mean everything but in this world of Instagram, our holidays have to be picture perfect; right? So why not put some efforts and reap stunning benefits?

Let me know about your post covid travel plans. 

 It's wonderful to be a woman but with every great thing comes its share of challenges. God has blessed us with beauty, endless options to dress ourselves with and the magical power of procreation. But he has also bestowed us with those 5 days every month which some us dread for various reasons.

First of all, let me acquaint you with the various terminologies associated with periods/menstruation. Sorry dearies, but being a medico, I can't help but jump into scientific terms.

Amenorrhea: Absence of periods is called amenorrhea. This can be of two types:

Primary amenorrhea: When a female has never got her period. This means the prepubertal phase (ie before menarche) and for some females delayed menarche (after age of 15)

Secondary amennorhea: This means stoppage of monthly periods after months/years of regular flow.

This is normal during pregnancy.

Abnormal because of various reasons:

Stress

Sudden weight loss and anorexia

Endocrinal/ Hormonal reasons: PCOS, Pituitary, Hypothalamus, Hypothyroidism, Sheehan's syndrome, Cushing's syndrome, etc

Tumors in Pituitary gland, Hypothalamus, ovaries etc.

Hypomenorrhea: Very light or scanty periods; lasting for a day or two.

Menorragia: Just the opposite of hypomennorhea: very heavy periods or long lasting flow. Causes can be tumors, Adenomyosis, etc

Polymennorhea: Frequent periods. Usually flow within 20 days.

Oligomennorhea: Delayed periods usually after 35 to 40 days. Commonest cause is Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome or PCOS.

Dysmenorrhea: Painful periods.

How to manage different menstrual irregularities without medicines?

Although any irregularity should be taken seriously and should be consulted with a gynae, some lifestyle modifications can play a huge role in regulating them.

Exercise. Weight gain has been a big reason in delayed periods. In fact 50% treatment of PCOS constitutes of losing weight scientifically. Also if there is drastic loss of weight, exercise would help in healthy weight gain.

Diet modifications: Refrain from junk and over processed food. Try consuming greens and legumes and a rainbow diet too. Items like chickpeas and yams are proven to be beneficial in female problems.

Stress management: Women have already been burdened with so many responsibilities that stress is an inevitable part of our lives. And with 2020 being a total disaster and this pandemic breaking hell on our lives, stress levels have gotten only worse. It has been seen that amenorrhea due to stress during this lockdown has increased many folds.

Although events like this pandemic are out of our control, we can control our stress levels to some extent like taking out time for ourselves. Going for short walks, meditation, mindful breathing, reading a good book, home facials and small things can help us combat our stress levels to a large extent. Remember you need to take care of yourself first in order to be able to nurture others.

Go the Ayurvedic way:

Ayurveda has answers to almost all bodily ailments in a scientific way. We should tap the magic of our ancient science in every way possible and Namyaa is doing a great job is doing so.

Namyaa has launched the Period Care Kit which consists of 3 essential products:

Namyaa Aarthava Kshaya- For PCOD and PCOS: 

 The year 2020 has been difficult for every one; be it individuals, families, businesses and economies. Every sector has been suffering but the travel, leisure and hospitality have been hit the worst. The edible oil industry especially the palm oil have been affected quite adversely.

I have been to Malaysia thrice in my life and have loved every moment of it. During my first time, we travelled by road to Singapore from Kuala Lumpur and saw palm trees throughout our journey. The second time, we took the airport metro from KL Airport to Putrajaya and the entire route was lined by palm trees. Then in early 2019, I came to know about the story of the palm plantations. Yes, I attended my first ever conference with the Malaysian Palm Oil Council and learned absolutely myriads of things about palm oil. Did you know that Malaysia is the second largest producer of palm oil? Well Indonesia is the largest. And that explains the hundreds of acres of palm plantations that I have seen in Malaysia.

Last week, I had the privilege of attending a webinar by the Malaysian Palm Oil Council with Dr Bhavna Shah as the speaker; country head for India/Sri Lanka for Malaysian Palm Oil. The discussion was really eye opening with respect to the effects of COVID 19 on the vegetable oil industry; especially palm oil.

Dr Bhavna Shah

For the uninitiated, palm oil is the oil derived from palm kernels and is a widely used vegetable oil and cooking medium. It is rich in carotenoids (precursor of Vitamin A) and in tocotrienols and tocopherols (components of Vitamin E). Vitamin E is a powerful antioxidant and is vital for healthy skin and eyes and so is Vitamin A. In fact Vitamin A is essential for immunity and is anti carcinogenic too. In fact palm oil has the highest quantities of tocopherols and tocotrienols amongst all the vegetable oils.

Palm oil is widely used as a cooking medium and is an important component of numerous items in our daily lives. It's used in chocolates in place of cocoa butter, ice creams, toothpastes, lipsticks, soaps, etc etc. It's widely used in the catering business and since palm oil has a neutral flavour, it's excellent for whipping up fancy dishes. It's rich in calories and hence great as an energy source.

Apart from all the above facts, Palm oil industry is an essential part of the economy. However Covid 19 has played an enemy in the export, packaging and transportation of Malaysian Palm oil.

The HORECA (Hotel, Restaurant, Catering) sector has suffered a huge blow owing to less number of people eating out and ordering in. Thousands of bakeries and kitchens have shut down and has a result the demands of palm oil have plummeted. As a result, imports had been reduced and the prices of crude palm oil have dropped in Indonesia and Malaysia. 

There are so many aspects to this. There has been excess of palm oil in Malaysia which is because of reduced import to India. Pakistan offered to procure the excess oil but it could not buy at the same price. The demands continue to be low in India and unless the Corona situation gets under control, the HORECA sector would continue to suffer. International crude palm oil prices have dropped by 20%. Imagine the impact of this on the Malaysian economy.

You can find more information at mpoc.org.my   Facebook, Twitter, Instagram.